With my time at this law school winding toward its end, I feel that I should do some sort of "superlatives" column. You know, like in high school, when they gave out "Most Likely to Succeed" -- that kind of thing. I've dispensed with the typical "Most Intellectual," "Best Looking," and "Most Likely to Succeed" categories, because, seriously, we already know the answer to that one.
So sit back and (hopefully) laugh with (not at) your fellow classmates and their little "idiosyncracies." Don't get too high and mighty as you read though. You're probably on this list, too. And if you're not, you're lucky. I just might think you're fairly normal. Or I probably couldn't think of something that wouldn't result in words like "libel" and "lawsuit."
Most Likely to beg the Chief Justice's pardon to go check
if his car is locked
Neil Talegaonkar
Most Likely to preface all oral arguments with the word
"Dude"
Chris Locascio
Most Likely to butcher my last name
Co-Winners: Professors Bryson and Brennen
Gentlemen:
That's an "a" after the K. Not an "o."
Most Likely to write every article in a year's supply of
law reviews
Donnie Kidd
Donnie and I were
pledge brothers at Virginia. Donnie and I had similar study habits
at Virginia. Go figure.
Most Likely to climb into bell tower with high-powered rifle
Multiple Winners; Too numerous to list
The fact that this
University even has a bell tower makes me nervous.
Most Likely to tell you they'll meet you out later and never
show
Co-Winners -- Chuck Seyfarth and John Cunningham
Has anyone ever had
a beer with either of these two? Didn't think so.
Most Likely to stab you in the back
Multiple Winners
Personally, I like
to double strap my bookbag over both shoulders to give me some
sort of protection.
Most Likely to Not Stab You in the Back
Please.
As long as anyone
takes in breath, they are a threat to you. Beautiful life lessons
we're picking up here, eh?
Most Likely to slip into Cartman impression during multi-million
dollar negotiation
Dave Buckley
I'll ro sham bo you
for it.
Most Likely to be subject of crazy Saturday morning cartoon
Suzanne Sones
Most Likely to succeed Crocodile Hunter on Animal Planet
Jimmy McLemore
Most Likely to kidnap Sissy Biggers from Ready, Set Cook!
and do away with her
Kate Murray
Most Likely to vanish
Patrick Vaccarino
Most Likely to turn into town drunk after years of sobriety
surrounded by complete drunks
Faisal Qureshi
I once entered Bandito's
dead sober. I got a brief but terrifying glimpse at Faisal's life.
Most Likely to hit it big on the Pro Bowlers' Tour
Multiple Winners: 1.Charles Quagliato 2. Brooks Nelson 3. Phil
Mankins
Most Likely to Bag Law for Heavy Metal Career
Kerry Wortzel
You wouldn't think
it to look at the guy, would you? Everyone has their story.
Most Likely to Weep when Jason Jacoby Threatens Him
Greg Giannakopolous
Most Likely to think the Eagles and 76ers are just in a
little slump
Jason Jacoby
Most Likely to use Chuck Seyfarth as puppet in Evil Empire
Henry Willett
Henry brings new
meaning to the phrase, "you're good."
Most Likely to Serve as District Attorney/Barkeep in Key
West
Dave Stock
Most Likely to Tell You That, Aaaaah, Quite Frankly, You
Seem to Look for Answers to Life's Problems in a Bottle
Jonathan Muenkel
One word. Mini-briefs.
Most Likely to Get Away with It
Paul Curley
Most Likely to graduate early, say it's been "Wicked
Awesome," and blow out of here like a bat out of hell
Colby Brunt
I'm going to miss
you most of all, Scarecrow.
Most Likely to break into song while intoxicated
Katie Indelicato
Most Likely to say "I'm not really that worried about
finding a job, I married a doctor!"
Wes Walker
We should all be
so lucky.
Most Likely to serve as General Counsel for Waffle House
Susan Watson
If you ever have
the privilege of dining with Watson at the Waffle House, keep
your hands away from her face.
Most Likely to become Jimmy Hoffa of next century
Craig Curwood
Most Likely to develop new relaxation techniques
Lauren Garner
Most Likely to develop new tequila
Becky Hartz
Most Likely to Injure Self Through Freaky Accident
Caroline Browder
OK, so I broke my
rib falling on a ski and broke my hand playing that most dangerous
of IM sports -- softball. I came in a close second.
Most Likely to have operation to become reattached at hip
1. Leah Oubre and Amy Jones
2. Shannon Kroeger and Sarah Beckett Boehm
Most Likely to actually miss spending 16 hours a day in
law school building
Chris Bain
The guy thinks this
place is actually fun.
Most Likely to achieve successful afterlife after three
years with Neil, Chuck and Henry
Ric Scott
Most Likely to Be Diagnosed with Color Blindness
Anyone who doesn't think my car is blue
Most Likely to slurp Diet Coke Super Big Gulp in front of
the Court
Jane Allen
Jane is seriously
concerned with the tinkering going on at 7-11 with the Big Gulp
cups. Good heavens, her beloved Super Big Gulp cups could be next.
Most Likely to show up at reunion and hear, "just who
the hell are you, anyway?"
James Collins
Most Likely to have Judge say, "Son, I really can't
hear what the hell you're saying."
Thurmond Capps
I have known the
guy for more than 2 years; I've never heard a word he's said.
Most Likely to host rocking keg party in library
Mrs. Martin
Most Likely to Recommend Group Outing to Mamazu's
Katherine Salt
Most Likely to sponsor proposal to turn Career Services
Office into gameroom
Bottom 90 percent of each class
Most Likely to skip really cool party to watch a very special
"Boy Meets World"
Greg Sheldon
Most Likely to advise dolphins of legal rights
Susan Bland
Most Likely to have judge say, "Yes, sir, whatever
you say, sir."
Jim Reid
Most Likely to sit back, sigh deeply and think, "how
did I get stuck with this job?"
Lauren Camilli
This poor young woman
has to read this before any of you.
Most Likely to default on student loans while waiting for
Kazzie's Korner to get national syndication
Hey, it could
happen.
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