|
Although it may seem ridiculous at this stage in life, I am still addicted to Beverly Hills, 90210. So it is with great sadness that I inform you, if you are not already aware, that there are only four episodes left. Mind you, I am not as upset about this as I was about the untimely demise of Melrose Place, but I am feeling a little empty right now. I starting watching when I was 13 so it's almost as if I grew up at the same time they did. Now, I'm not a "famous" DJ like David or a "famous" designer like Donna, but hey - there is a lawyer on the show! If there's anything I wish, it's that more of the original characters were still on. At this point, we still have Steve, Kelly, Donna, David and Dylan, although Dylan doesn't really count since he left for three years to brood in Europe. And remember why he did this: some crime family killed his new wife, the Noxema girl, while they were attempting to kill him. So really, there are only four characters that have stuck out the whole ten years. The others - where did they go? Has
anyone besides me noticed that whenever they want to get rid
of people they are sent off to very far away places? The excuse
they gave for Brenda's absence was that she went to London to
study theatre. No one heard anything about her again until it
was revealed upon Dylan's return that he had seen her during
his absence. What about the Walsh parents? They supposedly moved
to Hong Kong, which was very convenient because all of the kids
could keep the house. I never thought the Walshes were so rich
that they could afford to own two houses, but at least the show
never had to buy a new set. Brandon's kooky girlfriend Emily
was sent off to France to college, but she wound up in Chicago
on ER. I suppose all of the old people decided not to renew their contracts in order to pursue movie careers. Did anyone ever see "Calendar Girl" with Jason Priestly? I didn't think so. Why, then, did they all have to be replaced by such vapid people? One thing I will never understand is why they kept Tiffani-Amber Thiessen on for so long. She was absolutely hideous as an actor. She was supposed to be so BAD but she came off looking ridiculous, because every time she came on screen I kept thinking, "Hey Slater! Screech!". Her crowning moment was on her very first episode, when she pretended to be such a square, then called up her friend in Buffalo while rolling a joint. That was SO believable. Then they brought in Vanessa Marcil to be the replacement for Tiffani. Now, if Dylan is supposed to be so deep and brooding, why is he going to be interested in some brunette Barbie? And she and Donna as sisters? I think even the folks at Fox realized that she was awful because they took her off before the end of this season, thankfully. So why watch this parade of silliness? I think when you're 15 years old, the issues they tackled are so real and vivid and important. I remember when Kelly was taking diet pills because someone at a spa told her she had "problem areas", and her mom was selling her house and they all found out that her mom was being cheated on by Mel, David's dad. Even rich people get anorexia and eating disorders! Also there was the episode where Donna was drunk at prom. That was major. Donna absolutely never got into trouble, and then all of a sudden she was about to get expelled. Brandon staged a protest where the entire school walked out of exams and marched on the school board, chanting "Donna Martin graduates! Donna Martin graduates!". For those of us who were really into high school student government and activism, this was a riveting segment. At this point, it's degenerated into more Melrose-esque sensationalism. For example, we found out a few weeks ago that Dylan's dad is still ALIVE! Can you imagine? One of the most touching episodes ever was when Dylan's dad got blown up in his car (supposedly by the same people who later killed Dylan's wife.) Well, Jack McKay showed up on the news because an airplane had to make an emergency landing at the LA airport. At first the FBI lady who had been dating Jack McKay denied knowledge, but then they finally admitted that the explosion was staged to save Jack. Now Jack has a new life, and a new son, and Dylan is mad. He has all of Jack McKay's millions, though, so I'm sure he will get through his pain. Just a couple of weeks ago, Matt the lawyer, who is now engaged to Kelly, went to a rave in the desert with Dylan and ended up drinking punch spiked with liquid acid. I can just imagine some of my law school peers acting just as goofy as he did. Naturally, the next morning he woke up and he was in some woman's tent. Now he's having a dilemma because he doesn't want to tell Kelly. However, Dylan is still in love with Kelly and is threatening to tell her if Matt doesn't. Oh, Matt was also disbarred for 90 days in one episode not too long ago, but he seems to be practicing just fine now. Don't try this at home, guys. If I had cable, I could look forward to years and years worth of reruns on F/X. I would absolutely love to see the episode where Donna wears the mermaid dress to the Halloween party and can't walk, or the one where Dylan and Kelly first get together, or the one when Brenda gets the part in "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" her freshman year and Steve's girlfriend almost hangs herself over the stage as a consequence. And who can forget Hilary Swank's short but brilliant stint as yet another of Steve's girlfriends - the one with the kid who would say things like, "If you want me, you have to accept my son as well!" I guess I will no longer have to speed home after Wednesday law skills next year to make it home by 8:00. There's nothing trashy enough and yet accessible enough to replace my beloved 90210. They were shallow, they were rich, they were awful and vapid, but so much fun. The kids on Dawson's are way too dramatic. Who talks like that? Kelly and Donna say things like, "Yeah! Alright!" 90210 is the cure for a long day of thinking. It shall be sorely, sorely missed. |
Previous Page 
Next
Page